Well, I'm not actually sure if it's nostalgia per say, but I just read through all my deviantart journal entries, and it's pretty amazing to see all the snapshots of such different times in my life. From being a young teen in highschool to being an angry, adult mother, hahah.

Right now I'm sitting at work during one of my overnight shifts. Nick's curled up asleep in a chair, and I'd toootally go molester him, but there are camera's. Bummer.

I'm fairly proud of my life as it is right now, even though it's exhausting. Sure, some parts could use some definite improvement *cough*babydaddy*cough* but other than that, my biggest qualms are not having enough time in a day (or enough energy) to get done all that I'd like to. Also, the high cost of hiring someone to sit on my baby. Man. Once Ben starts (free public) school, the house is going to be SPOTLESS and the garden is going to be epic. And Honey (my awesome doggy) is going to get walked all the time.

It's feasible to accomplish all that I want, but I'm really starting to think that I might be anemic or something. I'm so tired all the time. Couldn't possibly be because I'm a single, working mother. Which reminds me, I start my Medical Back Office class next week. I still have to pay off that class...

As I see it, I'm doing a lot of things 'right' in my life (living on my own, working, raising my kid, taking a class, paying my bills, blah blah) but I feel I'm lacking in the quality of them. I can do some of them really great, but then other parts suffer. I really worry that I'm spreading myself thin, but then again that's just status quo for the life of a mom, single or not.

Hurrrrr...
I wish I could be more independent. If I didn't have to rely on my mom to watch Ben, if I didn't rely on the gov't for food money, I'd be much more satisfied with life. If I didn't have to bother with the father of my child, I'd be MUCH happier. I've considered just moving away, moving somewhere with a lower cost of living. But I love where I live, and I love (most) of the people in my life.

I'm going to go bother Nick now. Ima wake his ass up.